*sound of mental glass shattering* Pretty sure I do this (the latter example) and pretty sure I will NOT be doing it, now that I'm aware of it. <<< thank you for being willing to change something you may do that can be dehumanizing.
There's no such thing as asking for rape. If you actually go up to someone and ask them to rape you, then it's sex, not rape. If you change your mind and tell them that you don't want to, then you are no longer asking for it to happen. Then it's rape