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I wear heels bigger than your dick. HILARIOUS, and true. iPhone & iPod Skin by Rex Lambo

Why I don't jog - Click image to find more Humor Pinterest pins

How I look when I go jogging. How I look when I go jogging. How I look when I go jogging.

Ecard - running motivation funny card

funny quotes ecards running with you clown chasing us bloody knife margaritas finish line

I'm not saying I did terrible things last night, but Satan just woke up on my couch and won't make eye contact with me.

Funny Weekend Ecard: I'm not saying I did terrible things last night, but Satan just woke up on my couch and won't make eye contact with me.

I wanted to stop forever, I planned to delete my account for months & was putting stuff on my computer, long story...

"Hmm, I'm getting kind of tired of pinning things on pintrest. Maybe I'll stop." Said no one ever - Quote - Funny -

Baahahahaha!

Can I just get a bunch of these made up and hand them out like business cards?

Definitely doing this next time this happens. Bahahaha

"Jake from state farm at 3 in the morning?" "Its Jake . from state farm" "Well 'Jake from State Farm's what are you wearing?

Flat iron warning…

Flat iron warning…

Funny pictures about Flat iron warning. Oh, and cool pics about Flat iron warning. Also, Flat iron warning.

Don'y sweat.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. Would depend on what (or who) the sweaty things are, though.

Everyday I fall in love with you more and more

Funny Family Ecard: Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesterday, yesterday you were pretty annoying. So true!

Monday  #done #whoop . . #yes #mamatime #relax #check #clever #braoff #ahhhh #mamalife #modernmother #livingitup #mumlife #chill #relax #inspiration #sleep

10 seconds after I walk in the door: bra off, hair up, sweats on

be a unicorn... a take on this fabulous TEDx talk by Shawn Achor http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html

When I look at myself in the mirror I see a unicorn. A badass unicorn. the-absolute-funniest-posts: sebastienmillon: “When I Look At Myself in the Mirror”

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