don't want to be attached. this breaks my heart. Too often we feel this way after having hopes and being let down by people that we thought would have our back no matter what and want to spend their precious time with us. I am my own best friend.
I wish I was dead inside, because I cant die on the outside. Even if I am completely worthless and unwanted, I still cant hurt the people I care about by dying. But my heart and my soul? They are already on failing life-support.
It was painful to accept that someone i had loved with my heart and soul and thought had loved me was now dragging my name through the mud with his own distorted version of events, i hadn& discarded him, betrayed him like he had done to me.
Because even though I am a Monster, I find comfort in knowing no one will no what I am feeling. Even if it means becoming a heartless monster.