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truestory :D

I couldn't help but notice that I'm much better looking than all of your ex-girlfriends. bahaha truth hurts and in wayyyy better shape!

Oh yes!

You can rarely see my tattoo, but your face is on display all the time :P


People like you make me revert to my native tongue.

I love my friends :).my best friend and I used to call each other "you whore" when we were in college!

Words misspelled

I can actually hear your words being misspelled while you are speaking to me. Some people you just know.


Funny Work Quotes : Success is like pregnancy. Everyone congratulates you but no one knows how many

Or hit the gym. You could do that too.

For real! I seriously wish I could take some people shopping to buy clothes that fit! It seriously makes you look so much bigger wearing clothes 2 sizes too small!

He does have a track record of whipping asses to clean out the den of liars, cheats, and thieves. Just saying. ♡Lemon

Funny Breakup Ecard: I know the Bible talks about forgiveness and all but I'm pretty sure Jesus would hold my purse while I kicked your ass.

29 Wonderfullly Sarcastic eCards

I woke up with a positive attitude, but thank goodness, a little sarcasm slipped in and saved the day!

I'm pissed.  Let's go buy shit.

Or I'm really happy, let's go buy shit. Or I'm sad, let's go buy shit.