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Don't go crazy with eyebrows. #lol

Don't go crazy with eyebrows.

so have sex with me, then make me food, and let me nap.

Be part of this with me- I like three things: sex, eating, and sleeping. in that order

Fuck you very much. #Humor

There's this old saying that has been passed down through many generations. I believe it goes something like "fuck you".

 PMS  & GPS

I have PMS & GPS, which means I am a bitch and I will find you. Haha I laughed so hard

...Probably to soon but still a little funny...Dick Clark has died. We can no longer ring in the New year. Well played, Mayans. Well played.

Probably to soon but still a little funny.Dick Clark has died. We can no longer ring in the New year. -Sorry I loved Dick Clark, but this is kinda funny-

This looks and sounds familiar haha

do you remember that time Toby brought over the booze for pregame and it was that awful Spark stuff mixed with some kind of hard liquor? It was the most disgusting thing ever but we sure choked down every last sip of it anyway

LOL! As I've said before, you can call me anything you want, just don't call me stupid! I am NOT stupid.

As I've said before, you can call me anything you want, just don't call me stupid! I am NOT stupid.

#funny

Please stop mistaking my wonderful sense of humor as flirtation. Just because I make you laugh does not mean I want you. I'm just naturally hilarious. {I'm not flirting. I'm just funny} customers don't understand

If the Mayans have taught us anything it's if that you don't finish something it's not the end of the world

Mayans taught us if you don't finish something it is not the end of the world

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