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I'm not the cat lady type. I'm more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my terms.The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoe.

Funny Confession Ecard: Im not the cat lady type. Im more like an actual cat.The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoe.

Wedding Ecard Maybe I should go get a boyfriend instead of planning my wedding on Pinterest. Eh, maybe tomorrow..

Until I meet a guy who's not a total douche I'll keep planning and taking pictures of my dog.


Happy Thanksgiving from Fritz Toffee. Don't forget to set your scale back 10 pounds tonight!

@Mary Spurgeon.  Or at least remember the trouble I've gotten into.  ;-)

Memory and friendship. So true. I have the worst memory, but doesn't matter as long as my friends remember for me.

Dear Dad,    I'm not pregnant or in jail.     Happy Father's Day.

Nowadays that is a major accomplishment. As a parent, I certainly would be proud of my children if I didn't have to deal with baby mama's. Plus, you have to feel for all those unfortunate children with broken homes.


It happens most of the time. Okay, all of the time.