I would lose every time... just thinking about it is killing me!<<< but where are you going to get helium filled balloons from?? Unless you've just had a party or something. But other than that you'd have to argue your way to the store to buy them
You're going to need some care & support from a professional to deprogram the conditioning he's done on your psyche, especially if he managed to isolate you. Getting great help facilitates the healing process & there's no shame in it!