The actions of the adult child today are not a reflection of the parent yesterday. We as adults are 100% responsible for own own actions & life, for our own choices and decisions. So let go of the attachment to blame others for what we do.
All this because you didn't like her attitude when she came back to you? Because y'all are in severe denial about how y'all are as parents and don't want to emphasis on that so y'all blame me and her auntie? That's just stoopid and cruel.