The actions of the adult child today are not a reflection of the parent yesterday. We as adults are 100% responsible for own own actions & life, for our own choices and decisions. So let go of the attachment to blame others for what we do.
It's the truth. The question is...how do you get out once you are in so deep that your imagined pain becomes physical pain. How do you wake up and trust reality...when exactly that painful reality you once trusted actually brought you to your imagined hell?