Remember that the anger you feel is a result of your desire to make sense of what's happening to you. You are wet and you are alone. It's only natural to want to destroy those who have done this to you.
"Eating dried noodles again? Trust me, anime ain't getting any realer because of it." "Oh my, buying all those chocolate bunnies for your kid? Prepare to get a salad-crazed rabbit in a few years." "You know that thing will make you night hell, don't you? Fine, fine, just checking." "... okay, this is the third week I've seen you buy pasta so COME HERE AND LET ME PET YOU YOU LONELY THING!"