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My goal this weekend is to move just enough each day so that no one pokes me to see if I’m dead.

I think I need to start drinking, because this clean-living lifestyle is just pissing me off to no end!

I pretend to like people everyday. It’s called being an adult. That’s why we’re allowed to buy booze. / Snarkecards Oh so true!

By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you *blocked* and *deleted*. You may now kiss my ass.

People will treat you only one way, the way you let them. Respect yourself! A pig will always want to roll in the mud. You don't need a pig, you need a REAL MAN/WOMAN!

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One of my pet peeves! All the crazy money scam fundraiser's! This statement is ABSOLUTELY TRUE! Goes for ALL celebrities.

Lol. I feel this way all the time!!

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house. I live for one of those having no plans day.

IT TAKES LESS MUSCLES TO SMILE THAN TO FROWN...AND I WANT TO USE AS FEW AS POSSIBLE !

It will be the dads job to kill spiders. If he isn't home, then we are screwed.

If cleanliness is next to godliness then my car must be the portal to hell. | Snarkecards

If cleanliness is next to godliness then my car must be the portal to hell. This is sooo true!

that one person whose name pisses you off so bad you just want to punch them in the throat with a boxcutter when you see it.

Free and Funny Breakup Ecard: that one person whose name pisses you off so bad you just want to punch them in the throat with a boxcutter when you see it

Omfg yes calm down!

Middle School // funny pictures - funny photos - funny images - funny pics - funny quotes - Everyone knew this kid.

This summer I certainly wasn't "bikini ready" but I'm happy to report this Fall my body is 100% "poncho ready!"

This summer I certainly wasn't "bikini ready,"but I'm happy to report this Fall my body is totally "poncho ready!

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