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I'll be Ready in Five Minutes for Girls is exactly the same as I'll be home in 5 mins for Boys.

@Krystal Wilke

Funny Friendship Ecard: I just knew wed be friends forever from the moment I discovered that you also have no filter for your bitchy and sarcastic thoughts. just-plain-funny-shit

Hehehe...

Hehehe...

Can't find what you are looking for on in the fridge

I hate it when you open the fridge & can't find what you were looking for.like happiness & perfect abs.

Merry Christmas

Applies to most of the people on my fb, santa, clothes, dictionary, christmas

starbucks really isn't that expensive when compared to what victoria's secret charges per cup

Starbucks really isn't that expensive.especially with my cup size, at least at Starbucks I get a full cup lol

I love the way you chose your ugly new skank over your beautiful children. Do the world a favor, and get castrated, okay? You're a true deadbeat!

Free and Funny Breakup Ecard: I love the way you chose your ugly new skank over your beautiful children. Do the world a favor, and get castrated, okay? You're a true deadbeat!

bwahahahaha! too true

funny stuff++ - marriage is betting someone half your shit that you will love them forever

something to think about

Free and Funny News Ecard: Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.

I'm currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It's called 'Bitches & Hoes'.

Free and Funny Weekend Ecard: My business isn't your business; So unless you're my thong, don't be up my ass.

Starbucks Humor - When is the first day of fall?  When Starbucks starts serving pumpkin spice lattes :-)

Starbucks Humor

First day of fall = Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes! Gotta love it. :-) I love pumpkin spice lattes!

Hahaha

Roses are red, violets are blue, but I wouldn't know that because you never bring me flowers, you bastard.-- story of my life,