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from Happy Villa

I'm A Simple Person Who Hides A Thousand

I hide my feelings well. All it takes is a smile and no one notices how you truly feel. I'd rather people think I'm happy than know the truth. I am thankful for the life I've been given. Someday everything will make sense. Until then, I'll keep smiling

Every day I hate myself. Looking in the mirror is painful. Occasionally I have thought "I look okay today" but then I go out and see so many beautiful skinny girls and guys that I know will never be interested in me. Then I start to feel fat and ugly again

today i feel: abandoned, ugly, hurt, like i don't matter, useless, invisible, like i don't belong, not worthly of love, hopeless, unappreciated, numb. never mind i feel like this every day

dear world, when a girl is quie, you already know that's dangerous. the things that constantly torture thsi girl keep repeating. and she has tried to please the people surrounding her; but now she's tired. give her a break. the ones around her make her feel ugly, like an idiot or never good enough. the people around her never appreciate the things she does for them. this girl is dying inside. she's tried physically, emotionally, and mentally. (cont)

i really can't picture anyone having a crush on me. i can't picture someone thinking about me before they fall asleep. i can't picture anyone getting butterflies because i said hi to them, or even just smile at them. i can't picture someone smiling at the computer screen or their cell phones when we're talking. i mean like....why would they even do that? i'm just me. nothing extraodinary, or special