Abed: Of all the timelines, this is clearly the darkest, which is why I propose we commit to being evil. I made us all black goatees out of felt, I suggest you put them on until you’re able to grow your own. From now on I am Evil Abed. We are the Evil Study Group, and we have but one evil goal: return somehow to the prime timeline, the one where I stopped you from rolling that die. Then we destroy the good versions of ourselves and reclaim our proper lives.