S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #55:High powered laser devices have many uses. However, they do not include boiling water for hot beverages, making toast, popping popcorn, reheating leftovers, or spot tanning.
S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #209:There will be a office chair jousting tournament for all new recruits tomorrow morning on the deck of the Helicarrier. Make your own weapons but keep them blunt and less than eight feet long. Disregard this message. It was posted on April 1, and the culprit has been dealt with.
S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #32: Be sure to familiarize yourself with the sections in the handbook concerning proper procedure in case of accidental or malicious defenestration. Double geek points if you immediately thought of Dark Angel.
S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #411:Agent Barton is a self proclaimed master of hide-and-seek. Whenever someone questions this, he goes around relentlessly challenging everyone he sees to a game, including the one who questioned him, until he feels he’s proved his point. So for the sake of everyone else, just nod your head and agree with him. [Submitted by shieldagentmaller]