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I nicknamed our cats asshole and rooster. One meows at 4 am as loudly as possible and the other is just an asshole.

I'm not dating I hate you but I catch myself fantasizing about yougetting attacked by honey badgers, barefoot in a desert of Lego bricks, near a Bieber concert.

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Funny Workplace Ecard: If I'm to be forced to work with a bunch of adult-sized children, it should be reasonable that I also get to fingerpaint and take naps. Good old days.

Can't wait to do a side by side test with my nephew at Christmas

Most Funny Quotes : There really is no difference between a tired 4 year old and a drunk adult.


I will always protect the people that I love. Don't bring a knife to a gun fight you fucking idiot