It is so much easier to stay where we are comfortable even if that place is one of tremendous pain, of sadness. It isn't so much that such a place is addicting, it's just that we know it so well. This and fear kept me in my place of sadness, actually, my place of misery for a long time. Maybe I sound like a broken record, sometimes, but, when I took a risk, just a tiny, tiny one to step out of my hell, it was the beginning of the end of my abusers death-lock grip. Take that tiny risk.
I tried so hard to get better, to get over this, to forget it all and move on and I thought I was getting to the point where I could say that I am feeling a lot better, but right now I couldn't feel any worse... by seeing that you felt that staying with me would have been settling.