i am so tired of shitty parental sob stories about how “hard” it is to “raise” (read: beat the divergency out of) an autistic child or whatever. do you know what’s harder? being the divergent child of parents who you’ve already let down by virtue of existing in a way they didn’t ask for. putting up with years of neglect and abuse because you’re just not good enough for them, you weren’t what they were planning for or expecting.
So don't. Don't pretend. Because pretending may seem to work, but you only lose yourself in the process. Trust me I've pretended most of my life. Let go. Cry, scream, yell, do whatever the f*** you need to get help and move forward.