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Story of my life! And since my phone spends like of the time on silent, I lose it pretty often!

hahaha

because really, "who cares?"The Caloric Cuvee, The Calorie Counting Wine Glass, measures wine in easy 2 ounce increments while allowing you to see the correlated calories. But who cares?

~ If I really like you, Ill be sarcastic and tease you relentlessly. If I dont like you, Ill be very polite and pleasant. I think I may have somehow gotten this backwards.

Funny Ecard: The stick figure decals on vehicle windows are not pedestrian 'kill scores’ but represent family members? I'll remove mine ASAP to avoid further confusion.

'If you want to go running with me, you better be prepared to walk a lot.' Hahahaha.  I love it.

If you want to go running with me, you'd better be prepared to walk a lot. Because I walk a lot.

Phantom baby

Shower Schizophrenia- EVERY DAMN TIME. The constant belief that you hear a child crying while you're trying to take a shower.

For the time being

Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm the fuck down. Life of a broke, college student.

"whenever I lock up my car, I always press the button twice in a row to let nearby thieves know I mean business"

More like three times! I lock up my car, I always press the button twice in a row to let all nearby thieves know I mean business.

99 problems, 86 are imaginary scenarios

Funny pictures about Stressing for no logical reason. Oh, and cool pics about Stressing for no logical reason. Also, Stressing for no logical reason.

Yess!!!

It sinks, the moment I step into the Youth Services work room.

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