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Free and Funny Sports Ecard: I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.

You're fluent in lies, excuses, & bullshit…and that won't help you pass those two little classes you have to take so you can make $11 an hour.

I was not, am not and never will be a runner even though I can picture a young, thin me in a really cute running outfit, ipod plugged into my ears and long ponytail swinging from side to side. Alas, I am not a runner.

For real though

I wish this were real. Except I might have to actually make an "Exercise" board first haha!

I don't understand how some women have 20 plus bridesmaids. I don't even like that many people. | Wedding Ecard | someecards.com

this is the most accurate thing ever. I don't get the whole bridesmaid thing, period. They get people they hardly ever talk to so it looks like they actually have friends.

Funny Breakup Ecard: Sorry, I'm not Adele. I don't wish the best for you nor do I want to find someone like you. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff.

Funny Breakup Ecard: Sorry, I'm not Adele. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff. Too funny

You know you're from the 90s if you remember being disappointed when the CD's leaflet didn't have the lyrics to the songs. How else were you going to learn that damn line on track 3.

Free and Funny News Ecard: You know you're from the if you remember being disappointed when the CD's leaflet didn't have the lyrics to the songs. How else were you going to learn that damn line on track

Funny Confession Ecard: Sometimes I fantasize about a world where I'm in charge, chocolate makes you skinny, and everything is always 75% off.

Funny Confession Ecard: Sometimes I fantasize about a world where I'm in charge, chocolate makes you skinny, and everything is always off.

Funny Family Ecard: If you are going to scream like that, you better be on fire with a stick in your eye.

My daughter doesn't do that shit. And parents that allow their kids to.well I will light you on fire and put a stick in your eye!

There are eight ways of contacting me through my phone that don't involve me having to talk to you. Use one of those.

I hate talking on the phone. I would so rather text. I spend enough time on the phone at work.

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