Get it straight. Unless you're as big as a planet and you actually have your own gravitational pull. I dunno, maybe call yourself Penisticularis or Coochroameris. But if you have non of that it's Sucksville for you.
The car I rented to drive home last month had a feature that did it for you. The faster you drove the louder it got and when you came to a stop the volume went way down! Kinda cool but could get annoying after awhile I'm guessing.