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You can tell a lot about a woman from her makeup bag. for instance, mine says I'm in eighth grade.

You can tell a lot about a woman from her makeup bag. for instance, mine says I'm in eighth grade.

Anyone who says an onion is the only vegetable that will make you cry has never been hit in the face with a pumpkin.

Anyone who says an onion is the only vegetable that will make you cry has never been hit in the face with a pumpkin.

I thought this at 9PM tonight, while I was making pancakes and eggs….just because I wanted them…When I had already eaten dinner at 5:30PM. Yep.

I thought this at 9PM tonight, while I was making pancakes and eggs….just because I wanted them…When I had already eaten dinner at 5:30PM. Yep.

I'll stop being a nag just as soon as you stop being a horse's ass.

I'll stop being a nag just as soon as you stop being a horse's ass.

I wish the cast of Jersey Shore and the Kardashians had to compete in the Hunger Games

I wish the cast of Jersey Shore and the Kardashians had to compete in the Hunger Games

The No Resolutions Resolution--perfectionpending.net

The No Resolutions Resolution

If I'd known you were coming, I would've doubled up on my lithium.

If I'd known you were coming, I would've doubled up on my lithium.

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