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Who got the money

Went to the bank to open a joint account. They asked, "with whom?" I said whoever has the most money.

Lord give me patience . . . Because, if you give me strength, I'm gonna need bail money to go with it.

Seriously my thought for today.Lord give me patience . Because, if you give me strength, I'm gonna need bail money to go with it.

Having neither room in your closet, nor empty hangers, but still firmly believing you need more clothes. | Confession Ecard | someecards.com

Having neither room in your closet, nor empty hangers, but still firmly believing you need more clothes. Totally me!

Congratulations about being one of the "cool" kids in high school...

So exactly how i feel about people from high school! Congratulations on being one of the 'cool' kids in high school. Too bad about the rest of your life though.

There's going to be food? Okay, I'll come.

honestly, it's literally the deciding factor for most events i'm invited to.

Some songs awaken my inner stripper.

"Some songs awaken my inner stripper." [ ALL songs awaken Miley Cyus' inner stripper.

Funny Family Ecard: My children keep screaming, 'MOM!' at me, so I changed my name to 'Shit' and they're not allowed to swear.

This is so my mom. Frequent quote when I was a kid: "Mama mama mama honey honey honey, all I ever hear! I'm gonna change my name to shit and the first person to say it gets their ass busted!

I don't run. And if you ever see me run, you should start running too. Because something is probably chasing me. | Sports Ecard | someecards.com

Funny Sports Ecard: I don't run. And if you ever see me run, you should start running too. Because something is probably chasing me.

Just so everyone knows if you are outside you are fair game. Some of my favorites so far have been the butt crack  lady, sword lady and the lady that rode the train in only her slip. Half the time I don't even pretend I'm not taking a picture.

I'm not a stalker, I just like to secretly take pictures of people with my iPhone so I can text them to my friend and have a good laugh. LOL I did this today.

@Ashley Moon, for all of your recent craftiness! :)

Encouragement Ecard: There should be a DID THIS button on . complete with loud applause when you click it.

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