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If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty Marilyn Monroe. Being 2 faced is something I can't stand and I constantly see ones true colors.

This is the funniest thing I have seen all day!

This should so be my Valentine card lol. I love you with all of my butt. I would say heart but my butt is bigger.

real women

Your clothes should be tight enough to show you're a woman, but loose enough to show you're a lady - Marilyn Monroe

Moms are better.

She'd be "the Mom! and not only smarter than Dad . smarter than any of Dad's friends too!

Did you wish for a big dick but become one instead?

Did you wish for a big dick but become one instead? I think so.

I laughed out loud, and then made my husband look at this picture.  He simply chortled.  Does this mean I like beer more than him, or that I like to LAUGH about beer more than him.

This is the truth of the matter: “I’m outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios”. Birthday gift anyone?

Omg I hateee to run!

funny quotes ecards running with you clown chasing us bloody knife margaritas finish line

unsaid

I'm not a bitch, I still have a heart . "There are some things better left unsaid, but you can bet your sweet ass I am gonna say them anyway.

Love  life  & whiskey

"Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whiskey, and drive fast on an empty street with nothin in mind except falling in love and not getting arrested." Hunter S.

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