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Blanket on - Too hot. Blanket off - Too cold. One leg out - Perfect. Until the demon from Paranormal Activity grabs your leg and drags you through the hall.


When women wear make-up they're basically lying to us. I do not see why I am being blamed for a man stupid enough to think I have gold sparkly eyelids :D :D :D


I know some ppl like this. Lemme catch one of them trying to roast marshmallows on my fire. I'll give them a BIG HUG so we can roast together.

Love it!!! LOL LOL LOL

Eric should wear a sign like this when he drinks so when he says awesome, belligerent things there's an explanation ha

A bit of urological history LOL... proof which head is more important.

The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in That means it only took 100 years for men to realize their brain is also important.

Christina, this made me think of you  <3

Why do we feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking "I'm gonna kill- ahh damn! She's under a blanket.

happy cinco de mayo!

LSHMSFOAIDMT = Laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco. You can't make this stuff up.

I could see me doing this. :)

I would like to think I will die a heroic death but it's more likely I'll trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting. [substitute "peanut butter" for frosting!

feeling ugly, or stupid, or broke.....

So funny! Sad thing is i am one of those people who make u feel better! I dont usually care what i look like when i go to walmart!

But we only have enough sauce for 5 of you. SO ME! I rock at cooking but hang it up with measuring pasta. Leftovers anyone?

Haha!! Right?!

Breakfast in bed is so romantic! Some people are so unappreciative.😂😂🤓 (this made me laugh out loud)

funny play uno with someone and they hit you with a draw four card quote

car quotes - Google pretraživanje

Yes, my baby birds died.but I couldn't help but giggle at this. Baby birds don't poop on cars, only in the nest :)


New favorite palindrome: Dammit I'm Mad spelled backwards is Dammit I'm Mad