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Damn straight

I am the kind of dirty you wouldn't want to wash off

Thanks for calling ___. My name is Nicole, am I speaking with yet another asshole today?

“English in the media” assignement for one of my classes !

This is so true, and if the job difnt pay my bills i would so tell the customer they were an asshole

Another great find on #zulily! 'You are My Favorite Hello & My Hardest Goodbye' Wall Sign #zulilyfinds

Give your space charming warmth with this lovingly designed wall accent that expresses a sweetly sentimental statement.

I keep meaning to get back to the place I donate money to every month, but that ice cream sure sounds good...

Just kidding I'm on my cupcake. Just kidding I hate cupcakes. Just kidding I live for cupcakes. Just kidding I live for veggies. Just kidding veggies make me sick. Just kidding millennials make me sick.

Alcohol humor

I don’t drink alcohol, I drink distilled spirits. So I'm not an alcoholic. I'm spiritual!

glad you checked in there on FB, otherwise I would have never thought you'd seen the inside of one

A bar called "The Gym". " hey babe I'm going to the gym." (and your not lying!

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"Fun sized" is a lie. Less chocolate =less fun. BOOM and the truth is out!

Middle finger

Free and Funny Breakup Ecard: Another chance? Sorry, Im fresh out of chances. But I have this big middle finger that has been on back order for you.

So True :(

Be Honest…

Be honest if people could hear what you are thinkingyou would be in a mental hospital funny quote - Collection Of Inspiring Quotes, Sayings, Images

This goes to my Sister who will always be my best friend and to my best friend who is like a sister!

Best ever quotes for your Best Friends When you face a problem, then many other stand sides by you, but a true friend stand between you and the problem you so you stay intact with that problem.

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Theres this old saying that has been passed down through many generations. I believe it goes something like Fuck you.

I miss you all so much!  In Michigan and Ohio, here's from me to you!!

I know you as a friend a best friend a sister You are there through ups and downs You make the day an adventure You make my life the funniest joke We fit like the moon and the sun We duel like dark VS.