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Marriage

funny stuff++ - marriage is betting someone half your shit that you will love them forever

"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!"    This sounds like my husband, not me.

when you wake up PISSED. I've definitely woken up mad at the hubs because of something in a dream that he would never do in real life.

I changed my...

Funny Confession Ecard: I changed my car horn to gun shot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now. So funny

My girlfriend just caught me blow drying my penis and asked what was I doing. Apparently, “heating your dinner” was not the right answer.

Funny Confession Ecard: My girlfriend just caught me blow drying my penis and asked what was I doing. Apparently, heating your dinner was not the right answer.

Goes for a lot of people at work.. not just women.

Free and Funny News Ecard: Daaamn girl. Are you a fire detector? 'Cause you are really fucking loud and annoying.

Haha, yep

Husband Marriage Quotes: Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.

The next time you say, "I don't care" to anything I ask...I'm going to punch you in the face!

this is how i feel about my boyfriend every single night. someday i'm going to make something ridiculous for dinner.

10 Things 90s Kids Will Have to Explain to Their Children. @Kimberley Cobian youll love the first one!

10 Things 90s Kids Will Have To Explain To Their Children

10 Things Kids Will Have to Explain to Their Children. The beanie baby one is the truth.no other generation will understand the beanie babies!

Funny Friendship Ecard: The residue of last night's 'smoky eye' is this morning's 'hooker murdered in a back alley' eye.

smoky eye e card. This is me couple times a week, I hate washing my face at the end of the night.

I loathe sexist jokes from either side, but the next time some "clever" misogynist says this, this will be my response. :)

Humor ecard: Men say they don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. Well, I don't trust anything with 2 heads and only one brain.

Birth Ctrl

Free and Funny News Ecard: Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.

And leggings... too many people eat garbage, spend their life on the couch.... And choose leggings or skinny jeans. Lol. Please don't.

Free and Funny News Ecard: It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.

End of story

Funny Family Ecard: We are married. If I am pissed off at someone,so. you are pissed off at them too. End of story.