Nswana Kapita
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If you're gonna pretend you're better than me, at least be better than me.

Please do so, even though we both know you're not. If you were, you may be less inclined to worry about what doing. If you were better than me, you would not have been kicked to the curb.

Because some people never cease to amaze me

my ex still wants money out of me to decrease HIS OWN debts!

Definitely

"Although I can still party like an absolute rock star, it would appear that I cannot recover like one.