"My baby died. There is no at least". So very true. Stop trying to justify it that it was god's plans because even 1 year later it doesn't make it easier. After 1 ectopic & 1 miscarriage it's hard to see God's plan in all of this.
Admit to God you are a sinner. Believe that Jesus is God's Son. Confess your faith in Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord. Read/study your Bible. Live every day for Jesus Christ. God sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross. We learn that in John