update: I tried with all my songs and yes I know it doesn't work with every song. I just think it works if you play the song on time or it works with some sort of upbeat song. But yea, it doesn't work perfectly like you would expect.
Take coffee grinds w/ olive oil, & make into a paste. Massage into stretch marks for 5 minutes. Wrap a hot towel around the area for minutes. Wash and apply a moisturizer. Olive oil w/ caffeine will help stimulate the area to remove the stretch marks.
16 ways I blew my marriage - stop and read. This is a humorous, thought-provoking article that as a marriage counselor I actually do agree with. It is secular, with no claims of biblical advice, but also incredibly practical.