New funny jokes

God was just about done creating humans. He was feeling pretty satisfied with his work, but he had two parts left over. He couldn’t decide how to split them between Adam and Eve, so he thought he might just as well ask them. “I’ve got two things for you, but you’ll have to decide who gets...

"I love my dad." #dadmeme #dadjoke #fathersday #father #fatherhood #funnymemes #memes #funnyquotes #fathersdayquotes #fathersdaymemes

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150. His parents look at the truck and ask, "Where did you get that truck?!" "I bought it today," he says. "With what money?" says his mother arching an eyebrow. They knew what a new F150 cost. "Well," he says, "this one cost me...

Mom: Time to wake up and go to school! Son: No, I don’t wanna go to school today! Mom: But you have to go to school. Son: But, I don’t wanna go to school. Mom: Give me three good reasons why you should stay home, and I will give you three reasons why you need to go to school. Son:...

You should never ignore words of advice from people who are qualified to give it – otherwise things can turn out like in this story. A man on a flight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to use the bathroom. He headed over to the men’s room, nervously tapping his foot on...

In the year 2020, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans." He gave Noah...