Gottman Core Concepts

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Conflict is uncomfortable for most people, but learning how to handle it is crucial.

"When you’re in conflict with somebody and you become flooded with fear or anger, all your best intentions can go out the window." - Dr. John Gottman Couple Exercises Relationships, How To Repair A Relationship, Repairing Relationships Quotes, Pros And Cons List Relationship, Questionnaire For Couples, Emotional Flooding, Gottman Worksheets, Gottman Marriage, Gottman Relationship
Gottman Flooding Conflict Questionnaire
Conflict is uncomfortable for most people, but learning how to handle it is crucial. "When you’re in conflict with somebody and you become flooded with fear or anger, all your best intentions can go out the window." - Dr. John Gottman
Dr. John Gottman says it’s long enough to make a moment of connection with our partner. It stops the busyness in your brain and puts your focus on your partner at that moment. Kissing can be a good exercise in mindfulness. Gottman Method, Relationship Journal, Couples Journal, Gottman Institute, John Gottman, Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend, Deep Talks, Individual Therapy, Relationships Are Hard
6 second kiss
Dr. John Gottman says it’s long enough to make a moment of connection with our partner. It stops the busyness in your brain and puts your focus on your partner at that moment. Kissing can be a good exercise in mindfulness.
Predictions of divorce
The way you interact with your partner matters - and can predict the success of your relationship!
Turning towards instead of away is the third level in The Sound Relationship House, and it all starts with bids. Healthy couples constantly make and turn towards bids to connect. When bids are ignored or rejected, partners are more inclined to criticize each other and become frustrated. Healthy Couples, Relationship House, Improve Your Relationship, Communication Relationship, Email Newsletter, Focus On Yourself, Helpful Tips, The Sound
Sound Relationship House: Turn towards instead of away
Turning towards instead of away is the third level in The Sound Relationship House, and it all starts with bids. Healthy couples constantly make and turn towards bids to connect. When bids are ignored or rejected, partners are more inclined to criticize each other and become frustrated.
a quote from the gentleman institute on how to be more shared than you can find
Rituals create shared meaning
The rituals of connection you have with your partner help create shared meaning. Dr. Gottman recommends rituals of connection to begin and end each day, like drinking coffee together in the morning or a kiss good night to end each evening. You might also have weekly rituals like a Saturday hike or a Wednesday lunch. Building these in early will habitualize your connection and tether you to one another and the relationship.
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The Four Horsemen & Antidotes
All relationships, even the most successful ones, have conflict. It is unavoidable. Fortunately, our research shows that it’s not the appearance of conflict, but rather how it’s managed that predicts the success or failure of a relationship. We say “manage” conflict rather than “resolve,” because relationship conflict is natural and has functional, positive aspects that provide opportunities for growth and understanding.
Six-Second Kiss
Why not start 2022 off with a #SixSecondKiss? A lengthy smooch is a simple yet sensual activity you can incorporate into everyday moments with your loved one.
Every time you turn toward your partner in response to an emotional bid you invest in the health and security of your relationship. This sense of security of feeling truly able to know and be known by your partner created by intentionally and consistently turning toward your partner deepens your shared sense of intimacy and is correlated with increased relationship satisfaction. Gottman Repair, Relationship Repair, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Counseling Techniques, Relationship Conflict, Relationship Skills
Every time you turn toward your partner in response to an emotional bid you invest in the health and security of your relationship. This sense of security of feeling truly able to know and be known by your partner created by intentionally and consistently turning toward your partner deepens your shared sense of intimacy and is correlated with increased relationship satisfaction.
John Gottman suggests that couples create shared meaning through the use of rituals roles goals and symbols. As you begin your life together it will be important and fun to establish these things as a way to give purpose and meaning to your relationship. Marriage After Infidelity, Rekindle Marriage, Couples Therapy Worksheets, After Infidelity, Couples Counseling
John Gottman suggests that couples create shared meaning through the use of rituals roles goals and symbols. As you begin your life together it will be important and fun to establish these things as a way to give purpose and meaning to your relationship.
If you've reached an unresolvable or gridlocked issue in your relationship you need to identify which dream or dreams are fueling the conflict. Learn how to identify dreams within conflict in the link in our bio ("Support Each Other's Dreams"). Couple Therapy, Family Counseling, Relationship Therapy, Soulmate Love Quotes
If you've reached an unresolvable or gridlocked issue in your relationship you need to identify which dream or dreams are fueling the conflict. Learn how to identify dreams within conflict in the link in our bio ("Support Each Other's Dreams").
Whether or not you watched the #StateOfTheUnion last night remember that having your own version of the #SOTU with your partner can be a simple yet powerful way to transform how you manage conflict in your relationship. Instilling this weekly ritual gives couples the freedom to express their fears and concerns in a way that makes them feel heard and loved instead of neglected. Learn how to start your own State of the Union meeting in the link in our bio! Relationship Counselling, Better Relationship
Whether or not you watched the #StateOfTheUnion last night remember that having your own version of the #SOTU with your partner can be a simple yet powerful way to transform how you manage conflict in your relationship. Instilling this weekly ritual gives couples the freedom to express their fears and concerns in a way that makes them feel heard and loved instead of neglected. Learn how to start your own State of the Union meeting in the link in our bio!
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John Gottman's research revealed that discussions will end on the same note they begin. Think of it this way: if you start an argument harshly by attacking your partner you will end up with at least as much tension as you began with if not more. This is why softening the start-up of your conversations is crucial to resolving conflicts. Learn how to do it in the link in our bio ("How to Fight Smarter: Soften Your Start-up").
As partners increasingly come to know and bond with each other they build what we call their #SoundRelationshipHouse. The Seven Principles developed from John and Julie Gottman's research comprise the house's many "floors" or "levels." Read more about each floor in the link in our bio! Marriage Therapy, Building Trust
As partners increasingly come to know and bond with each other they build what we call their #SoundRelationshipHouse. The Seven Principles developed from John and Julie Gottman's research comprise the house's many "floors" or "levels." Read more about each floor in the link in our bio!
After studying thousands of couples in the #LoveLab, John Gottman discovered that almost all of the issues discussed in conflict conversations boiled down to the same recurring questions about trust: · ➢ “Will you be there for me?” ➢ “Will you choose me over your friends?” ➢ “Will you stay faithful to me?” · Do you know how strong the trust level is in your relationship? Take the quiz (linked in our Story) to find out. 📝 Gottman Quotes, Music Psychology, Fierce Marriage, Relationship Quiz
After studying thousands of couples in the #LoveLab, John Gottman discovered that almost all of the issues discussed in conflict conversations boiled down to the same recurring questions about trust: · ➢ “Will you be there for me?” ➢ “Will you choose me over your friends?” ➢ “Will you stay faithful to me?” · Do you know how strong the trust level is in your relationship? Take the quiz (linked in our Story) to find out. 📝
Make deposits to your relationship's Emotional Bank Account with small, everyday gestures of appreciation, affection, and kindness. · Even responding to your partner saying, “That dog is cute,” with, “Yes, it is!” counts as a "deposit" and strengthens your emotional connection. · What's your favorite way to make deposits to your Emotional Bank Account? Emotional Bank Account, Couples Communication, Youth Work
Make deposits to your relationship's Emotional Bank Account with small, everyday gestures of appreciation, affection, and kindness. · Even responding to your partner saying, “That dog is cute,” with, “Yes, it is!” counts as a "deposit" and strengthens your emotional connection. · What's your favorite way to make deposits to your Emotional Bank Account?