Conflict

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Repair is often associated with fixing things like cars or appliances, but in relationships, it's about getting back on track rather than fixing what's broken.
Gottman Repair Relationship
Repair is often associated with fixing things like cars or appliances, but in relationships, it's about getting back on track rather than fixing what's broken.
Are rough patches in a relationship normal?
Are you and your partner currently facing a tough time? Do you feel disconnected and misunderstood, wondering if this is the beginning of the end? Making the decision to invest in your relationship during challenging times can be daunting.
Gottman Four Horseman Contempt
In Dr. John Gottman’s four decades of research, he found contempt to be the number one predictor of divorce. Contempt is incredibly dangerous in relationships, often leading to the demise of marriages. As the worst of the four horsemen, it represents the most destructive negative behavior.
Stop People Pleasing
Ever feel like you can’t help but put others people’s needs before your own? When we make requests of others, we ask them to change their behavior. But when we set a boundary, we change our own behavior to protect ourselves, our needs, and our limits.
Did you know most arguments in relationships revolve around emotional disconnection? To create a close, intimate connection, we need to be authentic in our relationship and create emotional safety. Arguments In Relationships, Emotional Safety, Gottman Method, Relationship Quizzes, Science Of Love, Relationship Quiz, Bringing Baby Home, Couples Therapist, Conflict Management
Authenticity in Relationships
Did you know most arguments in relationships revolve around emotional disconnection? To create a close, intimate connection, we need to be authentic in our relationship and create emotional safety.
Gottman Horseman Criticism
How do I avoid using criticism? It is natural for people to seek explanations for their negative feelings. Sometimes, people keep track of their partner’s mistakes without saying anything to avoid conflict. This can lead to bottled-up anger or frustration, eventually turning into resentment.
Love or Trauma Bonding?
Is it love or is it a trauma bond? Navigating between love and trauma bonding is no simple task. The lines often blur, making it difficult to distinguish between a deep connection and emotional turmoil. Trauma can deeply impact our bonds, trapping us in unhealthy cycles.
Stonewalling and Gaslighting
Gaslighting and stonewalling may seem similar, but each can shake the very foundation of a connection. Knowing the distinction between these behaviors allows you to decide how to react when or if they show up in your relationship.
Managing Conflict
The Formula for Managing Conflict: Consideration, Openness, and Calmness. Understanding each step is essential for smooth sailing through inevitable conflicts. Accept your partner's influence, identifying the type of problem, and soothe tensions with self-care techniques. Conflict is inevitable, but learning how to manage it is key.
Choose Connection: Avoid 'Bid Busters'
Are you accidentally busting bids in your relationships? While grand gestures are wonderful, it's the everyday moments that truly cement positive feelings and connection with our loved ones. From sharing stories to a simple touch, these 'bids' are the building blocks of healthy relationships.
Money is often a sensitive subject for many individuals. Understanding its significance to both you and your partner is crucial, as is initiating conversations centered around finances. We all have our own story about money and a unique financial style.  
Discover effective strategies for having lower-conflict conversations about money in our recent blog post. Therapy Resources, Social Emotional Learning, About Money, Social Emotional, Healthy Lifestyle, Blog Post, Blog Posts, Money
How to Have Lower Conflict Conversations About Money
Money is often a sensitive subject for many individuals. Understanding its significance to both you and your partner is crucial, as is initiating conversations centered around finances. We all have our own story about money and a unique financial style. Discover effective strategies for having lower-conflict conversations about money in our recent blog post.
emotional regulation, especially in times of conflict
When emotion regulation skills aren’t used during conflict, many couples experience dysregulation. When we are dysregulated our emotional intensity has increased, and we are having difficulty bringing emotions back down to a moderate level. When this happens we generally cannot effectively hear our partner, misinterpretations rise, and our ability to communicate effectively goes out the window!
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Stonewalling. Feeling stuck because your partner shuts down?
Stonewalling is one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and it can make arguments with your partner difficult to work through. Learn what to do when one or both of you shuts down during conflict in this upcoming webinar.
How we respond to our partners on a daily basis in our regular interactions matter a great deal. We may not be aware of how we are taking our frustrations or stress out on our partners by turning against their bids, but developing a conscious awareness and making the choice to be kind, respectful, and receptive to our partner’s bids is absolutely critical to our individual health as well as to the stress and distress in our relationship. Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend, Education Tips, Feeling Of Loneliness, Communication Relationship, Sibling Relationships, Conscious Awareness, Couple Activities, Memory Journal
Why turning against your partner's bids will come back to hurt you
How we respond to our partners on a daily basis in our regular interactions matter a great deal. We may not be aware of how we are taking our frustrations or stress out on our partners by turning against their bids, but developing a conscious awareness and making the choice to be kind, respectful, and receptive to our partner’s bids is absolutely critical to our individual health as well as to the stress and distress in our relationship.
a poster with an image of a tape recorder and the words getting back on track during conflict
Repair attempts
Dr. John Gottman refers to repair attempts as “the secret weapon” of emotionally intelligent couples. Try these examples next time conflict arises between you and your partner.