How I got out of doing the dishes My mom: Do the dishes Me: *places sock on counter* My mom: What's this? Why is it here? *hands me the sock* Me: MASTER HAS GIVEN DOBBY A SOCK! My mom: wait what? Me: DOBBY IS A FREE ELF Me: *runs to room* nmq  - Witty Profiles Quote 6263951 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/6263951

How I got out of doing the dishes My mom: Do the dishes Me: *places

Am I the only one who... Occasionally wakes up my pets when they're asleep just to check that they're not dead?  - Witty Profiles Quote 6619706 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/6619706

Occasionally wakes up my pets when they're asleep just to check that they're not dead?

One day you'll wake up and realize how amazing she really was, but by then, she'll be waking up next to the man who already knew. - Witty Profiles Quote 204230 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/204230

One day you'll wake up and realize how amazing she really was, but by then, she'll be waking up next to the man who already knew.

Can you empty your pockets, cause I think you stole my heart! <3  - Witty Profiles Quote 5263611 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/5263611

Can you empty your pockets, cause I think you stole my heart!

+i+wish+people+looked+at+me+and+said+{wow+shes+pretty}+ - Witty Profiles Quote 5674390 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/5674390

i wish people looked at me and said {"wow she's pretty"}

"Download "FATHERS AND SONS" for your iPod or MP3, with an Autograph of Dostoevsky, or Lenin..." AWARDCHESS Grigoriy Burtayev - Witty Profiles Quote 6211239 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/6211239

"Download "FATHERS AND SONS" for your iPod or MP3, with an Autograph of Dostoevsky, or Lenin..." AWARDCHESS Grigoriy Burtayev - Witty Profiles Quote 6211239 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/6211239

Bella Swan: I had sex, got pregnant, and almost died. Coach Carr: What did I tell you? - Witty Profiles Quote 6437967 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/6437967

Bella Swan: I had sex, got pregnant, and almost died. Coach Carr: What did I tell you? - Witty Profiles Quote 6437967 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/6437967

Relatable Post #4 School dress codes are dumb. Girls can't show their shoulders? What guy is gonna look at a girl and be like "Dang, that's a FINE shoulder." - Witty Profiles Quote 6442165 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/6442165

Relatable Post School dress codes are dumb. Girls can't show their shoulders? What guy is gonna look at a girl and be like "Dang, that's a FINE shoulder.

True strength, is holding it all together, when everyone else expects you to fall apart.  - Witty Profiles Quote 6305435 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/6305435

True strength, is holding it all together, when everyone else expects you to fall apart.

I eat soup with a fork, because sometimes, life's just not challenging enough for me - Witty Profiles Quote 6620148 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/6620148

I eat soup with a fork, because sometimes, life's just not challenging

&+ One thing they never teach you in school is... what to do when your best friend is six thousand times prettier than you, and whenever you go out in public, she gets so much attention, and you are just standing there like a rock, alone. - Witty Profiles Quote 6452193 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/6452193

&+ One thing they never teach you in school is. what to do when your best friend is six thousand times prettier than you, and whenever you go out in public, she gets so much attention, and you are just standing there like a rock, alone.

Everyone is getting a boyfriend and you know what I'm getting? Fatter.  - Witty Profiles Quote 6297893 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/6297893

Everyone is getting a boyfriend and you know what I'm getting?

When my friend isnt in school: 5% I really hope shes okay 95% HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME ALONE - Witty Profiles Quote 6773994 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/6773994

When my friend isn't in school: I really hope she's

A pretty face gets old, a nice body might change, but a good woman Will Always Be a Good Woman.  - Witty Profiles Quote 6455727 http://wittyprofiles.com/q/6455727

A pretty face gets old, a nice body might change, but a good woman Will Always Be a Good Woman.

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