Definitely a trust fanatic! Understand my emotions, though, so don't waste time on that. Not afraid to fail at most things, but don't like failed relationships. Definitely feel like a solitary warrior.
Me thinks you relied a bit too much on him. So unlike you. He even admits you were in control. He was disloyal . . . And dishonest. Shouldn't you be hating him and not me? But then again, I keep writing that you should just let go and get over it. You did fail . . . at your attempt to win him as well as your 3 marriages. And you may have been very disappointed. He is not very passionate. But I love him anyway.