- JmStorm - I did this knowing I'd never felt love like this ever and while I was so happy it was always on my mind what if it doesn't work out... And a day later after a completely beautiful night of indescribable emotions, passions, and talks of marriage it was over without warning.... Worst day of my life and I've survived horrible things ... But this heartbreak is the only thing that's ever made me fear for my life.....
im petrified if truth be known. i cant help it, something in me is broken and im so scared.im scared of everything,everyone, what if they turn out to be just like him, what if they say they love me, and then abandon me, use all my fears and insecurities against me and wittle me down till theres nothing left. im only just clinging on, i cant tell you this, i cant even say it out loud. if i do , im admitting defeat and hes won..... even tho he already has... he wanted to destroy me....he did.
i'm just so scared to touch happiness only to have it taken away again maybe that is why i push everyone away and maybe thats why i'm so guarded but i don't think i can ever touch it without love and i don't know how to love not at all
My dear love,today is Wed and somehow I survived it easily, always a bit a hectic crazy day but is done.I see couples on the street holding hands and smiling and laughing to each other,then I feel a bit of pain that that could be us walking on the pavement and talking and holding to each other close.