I need feminism because growing up I heard a lot about "safety" and "modesty" but nothing about consent. [click on this image for a brief analysis and remix about rape culture and the recent proliferation of rape jokes on prime time television]
In the heart of a meltdown, acknowledge how your child feels with words. For example, I can tell you are upset because you weren't expecting this (your personal example). Verbally confirming the reason for the child's frustration helps the child to feel they are heard, and calms things so you can work towards resolving the situation.
"If we just make our generation shift the blame from the victim to the perpetrator, and we recognize rape as an act of violence instead of a natural hazard than we won't even notice clothing." <-- This!!