Narcissists constantly lie, exaggerate, and distort the truth to make you look crazy, abusive and bad. They provoke and bully, and do everything in their will to make you lose your temper in front of family and friends. They want you to look bad, whilst they act the victim. This tactics is called: Projective identification and Baiting. It's deceitful and treacherous.
Let them *think* they are winning and then keep your PEACE. Time here on Earth is so minuscule in comparison to eternity... unless you are being physically or deeply mentally harmed, tell your Ego to shut up and then let it go. Those who really know you will write off the bs.
You've probably tried everything you can think of to help this person, but in the end we have to come to an acceptance that it is an almost impossible task. They may one day become so downtrodden and wonder why their life is so bad and then seek help. So you staying and propping them up will not really help them one bit.
Unfortunately, the most bad luck I've had is out of people I've called my friends, who mistook "confidante" for "whipping post." If you must keep them in your life, set healthy boundaries and be a good example of a healthy person! If they continue their behavior, cut them out before they drag you deeper. You deserve happiness, and no friend/mother/father/aunt/uncle/sister/etc who loves you would go out of their way to hurt you, bring you down or make you feel ashamed of your happiness.
Red Flag #15. Cannot put themselves in your shoes, or anyone else’s for that matter. You find yourself desperately trying to explain how they might feel if you were treating them this way, and they just stare at you blankly.