Narcissists usually pick out and show you everything they DID RIGHT in a relationship instead of accepting and trying to change their faults. They also get really upset and defensive when trying to communicate about their faults and harmful actions. Everything is an excuse.
Authenticity and being real and honest is no excuse to be cruel, rude or insensitive. There is a line between being honest, and hurting people. Hurting people is abuse, especially when you do it purposely.
If you have never been in the grips of something that you didn’t want to be, and tried everything in your power to get free but couldn’t, you can’t understand the pain and frustration that one experiences. Sometimes we can be so insensitive to the things people are experiencing because it is not our “thing”