I have lived this and I will never waste time like that again. Time you can never get back. And you can feel so alone even when you are with someone. I would rather be alone then lonely with someone else. You should never feel that way in a good healthy relationship.
• Fail depressed depression suicidal suicide alone broken Scared fear self harm hopeless self hate cut ugly bullied confused cry tears insecure worthless i hate myself self destruction Afraid heart break failure overdose on my own no future i hate me no more emotion indiesunshiine •
And why is that. Not for my ex, but for everyone around me. Why do I feel so alone in a crowd. The one time I feel truly happy is when I'm around the one I'm beginning to love, or perhaps beginning to want to love is better. And why can't I tell her so, despite how I feel. It's just fear, fear of rejection. Because if she says no, I'll again be broken.
Why am I so easy to reject and abandon? I've wondered this my whole life,I always feel I'm not worth the fight. So I have to be good to myself and make myself feel good. I know that God cares. If I didn't know that I probably would go insane. Some days are harder than others to keep focused that God is always there. Some days I just feel very alone in the world.