An insult which sends us in tailspin triggers our Ego because we were insulted that way as a young child. Our Ego then reacts by seizing control of our reactions and making us feel the way we felt then. The way we react is called a defense mechanism;
Moms tend to have an ideal in their heads of how they are going to mother and how their children are going to respond. What do you do when that idea doesn't match up to reality? Do you get mad, yell, nag, etc? Or do you offer understanding and love?