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I tried to reach out, to offer friendship, which I don't do, as I've been burned so often. People just don't want to know, and it fucking hurts, so I just give up.

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Success, Fate, Happiness + Some Exciting News

"Giving up" isn't always the bad thing it's made out to be. Sometimes when you stop putting your energy into something, you free yourself to focus more deeply on something else.

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Today is such a day for me.The battle that I have been waging with the demons that my abusers planted in me, and let flower for so long, is wearing me down. Here I am, the one who wants to serve as the beacon of hope amidst the hell hole we know as child sexual abuse, faltering. Finding it hard to take another breath without searing pain in my chest. This road to healing is so hard and so long. Please know that faltering is part of the package. And I do, only what I can and that is to go…

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This couldn't be anymore perfectly said for how I feel. I definitely don't give up easily, and just because I don't contact you doesn't mean I've given up. It just means I'm waiting on you to realize what we had is enough to fight for and work things out, even months later .

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