This makes me think of my mom. When i have done something and i tried my hardest, she says i cant try my hardest because i have to be perfect. This drives me crazy. I dont like being perfect. I get straight A's and one B? She says im awful. I just feel so pressured to be perfect that i just break because i know im a dissapointment.
Somebody's everything by Saving Annabel Lee. "Don't cry darling hold me close. Dry your eyes and take my hand. Let's pretend we are off to neverland. You feel like nothing but I see a smile. So until you feel better ill be here for a while. So kiss my cheek and hold my heart. It's never too late for a brand new start. Your somebody's everything sweetheart. And this is that very start." (INO)
I believe in the kind of love that doesn't demand me to prove my worth and sit in anxiety. I crave a natural connection, where my soul is able to recognize a feeling of home in another. Something free-flowing, something simple. Something that allows me to be me without question.
Every day I hate myself. Looking in the mirror is painful. Occasionally I have thought "I look okay today" but then I go out and see so many beautiful skinny girls and guys that I know will never be interested in me. Then I start to feel fat and ugly again