"Best advice I've ever gotten:   Dont light yourself on fire trying to brighten someone else's existence."

"Best advice I've ever gotten: Dont light yourself on fire trying to brighten someone else's existence."

Today earphones have replaced hats. You take them off only when you meet someone you have respect for.

Today earphones have replaced hats. You take them off only when you meet someone you have respect for.

In a school club, I was talking about how every month I would perform a week long satanic ritual involving blood sacrifices.   Only the girls got it.

In a school club, I was talking about how every month I would perform a week long satanic ritual involving blood sacrifices. Only the girls got it.

Phone: you're running out of space. Delete stuff. Phone: not those apps. I gifted them to you. I don't care that you never use them. Pick an app you downloaded and use instead.

Phone: you're running out of space. Delete stuff. Phone: not those apps. I gifted them to you. I don't care that you never use them. Pick an app you downloaded and use instead.

This really is the best feeling and it brings back what a child happiness was like :)

This really is the best feeling and it brings back what a child happiness was like :)

I took my cat to the movies today. I just slipped him into my purse and went in, sat down and when they turned off the lights just took him out and put him on my lap. No one noticed. Best time ever!

I took my cat to the movies today. I just slipped him into my purse and went in, sat down and when they turned off the lights just took him out and put him on my lap. No one noticed. Best time ever!

40 Funny Pictures You’re Going To Love

40 Funny Pictures You're Going To Love

Brain: I see you are trying to sleep. May I offer a selection of your worst memories from the last 10 years? #funnypics #funny #lol

Brain: I see you are trying to sleep. May I offer a selection of your worst memories from the last 10 years? #funnypics #funny #lol

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