They say that doing something the same way over and over and expecting a different outcome is a sign of insanity. Life is full of choices and it is those choices that will make the difference between a good or bad outcome and ultimately whither or not sanity becomes the master.
Do you know how sometimes you have a bad day, and it may cause you to be a bit short with your kid or partner? And then, later, you go to them and say: I am sorry I was short with you, I was just worried/tired/busy/other, … We all do that, right? Well, not the toxic person. They live in a blissful world where nothing is ever their responsibility. When bad things happen, it is because the world is against them! When they are raging abuse at you, it is because YOU made them angry.