Do you know how sometimes you have a bad day, and it may cause you to be a bit short with your kid or partner? And then, later, you go to them and say: I am sorry I was short with you, I was just worried/tired/busy/other, … We all do that, right? Well, not the toxic person. They live in a blissful world where nothing is ever their responsibility. When bad things happen, it is because the world is against them! When they are raging abuse at you, it is because YOU made them angry.
Toxic people will hurt you and then try to make you feel bad that you are mad or hurt or upset. It's known as blame shifting. Instead of taking accountability for their own actions, they blame you got "having feelings." Abusive people do this